I am absolutely CERTAIN something nutso will happen soon! Until then, here’s another request…
“…[I’ve] lost so many important people in [my] life, maybe write how [I’ve] dealt.”
I thought this would be a difficult topic to write about, but when I started thinking about it, I realized that it wasn’t that difficult at all!
First, I’ll explain the “trials”. Between the ages of 10 and 17 my mother, both grandmothers, my grandfather, and two uncles died. It took me a little while to realize that this wasn’t a normal occurrence in a young person’s life. Heck, I know people, who are my age now, that STILL haven’t lost that many people. Add in losing my father and aunt at age 28 and you’re up to date…
This leaves me with three family members left in my life that I grew up talking to and knowing. A sister, an aunt, and a cousin.
How I was able to deal is the question.
It all goes back to ONE statement. Lucky for me, it was said after my mother died when I was 10, (which was the first of the string of family loss). This set me up for all the OTHER deaths as well.
We’ll get back to that in a minute. 😉
I was brought up in church learning about God. God is everything, and we can do NOTHING without Him. He makes the rules; not us. His plan; not ours. These things were drilled into my head from as young as I can remember. I’m not sure if I was told or if I concluded myself, but I also have always believed that it’s not my place to question God.
Knowing this was my upbringing and way of thinking we can get back to the “how” question.
My mother died in a car accident in the early morning hours of Thanksgiving 1993. My sister was home with me, and my father was out on a hunting trip. We woke up that morning and mom hadn’t come home. Where was she??
Then, the phone rang.
It’s all kind of a whirlwind in my head after that. A family friend came and picked us up to take us to our grandmothers. Someone else went to the mountain to get my father. I remember everyone was upset and I just sat on my grandmothers couch waiting for my daddy. (I was always “Daddy’s little girl”.)
When he got there I ran outside, and he hugged me. He had been crying.
I don’t remember at what exact point I asked, but the BIG question came out: “Why did mom die and our aunt (who had been in the car with her) had not?”
THIS is the statement I said set me up for the rest of my life:
*****My father said, “Your aunt still has a little baby that needs her. You and your sister are big enough to go on without your mom. Her (my mom) work on Earth is done, and now she will go to work for God in the Kingdom of Heaven.”
Remember my church upbringing? First, I don’t argue with God. Second, His plan; not ours. Third, Who can argue with that??!?
It took me many years to realize that THIS was why I was able to make it through my teenage years “somewhat normal”. (lol) Once I realized it, I did go back and thank my father for those AWESOME words. He was very thankful I did. (Aren’t we all afraid we are messing our kids up, and NEED those words of confirmation??)
So, I guess the answer to the question is GOD!!! 😉 Bet you didn’t see that coming. God worked through my daddy, and He got ME through. I could not be more appreciative.
***McCrazy Daily Lesson: Death is only hard for the living. It does not hurt God’s feelings to bring His children home, and the people who go to be with God are WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY better off! We are never sad for the person who dies; we are sad for ourselves, because we know we will miss them. We need to take comfort that God knows what He’s doing and that we don’t need to know. 🙂 How much simpler is life if we just let go and live!!! Trust.***