The Journey is Complete!

This completion comes just as a different journey is about to begin!  That is a whole other blog, though.  😉

I always find it interesting when  I have something on my mind, or I write something here, or I talk about something with someone, and then go to church to hear a sermon or Bible lesson on the same subject.  I have been planning this particular blog for a week or so.  It will be about watching for God signs, and my journey to do a better job listening to God.

This morning, at church, a new series started.  Our pastor spoke about “who is the captain of your ship”.  It seems a bit like what I have been going through!!

First, he spoke about Noah.  Noah was on a boat, and Noah did whatever God told him to do.  Noah was a righteous man; following God’s commands.

Then, he spoke about Jonah.  Jonah was told to do something by God and he said, “no”.  That’s all.  Just “no”.

Last, he spoke about Simon in the book of Luke.  Jesus told Simon to put out the nets and fish.  Simon said he had already done so with no catch, but he agreed to do it because Jesus had told him to.

During the little journey I have been on, I have found myself trying more and more to listen to God, and to follow what He is telling me to do.  I don’t know that I have ever told God “no” (like Jonah).  I may have simply not heard Him, but I can’t remember ever just saying “no”.

I have, also, done things simply because it is what he has asked.  “I don’t see the point, but I will because it’s what You want.”  (Like Simon.)

I find my biggest problem to be paying attention.  I don’t know what’s worse: not listening when being told to do something, or just never recognizing you are being told to do something…  I am finding that I am doing a better job honing my listening skills.  When I am listening and paying attention, I do my best to do what I am “told” (like Noah).

Here is where the story REALLY starts…

A bit over a month ago we visited my husbands mother for a week.  Then, we went to my hometown for a day.  I did not want to go.  Every since my Dad died, going home has been nothing more than a chore.  I LOVE to see my friends, but I have not gotten to just go visit since prior to my Dad getting sick.  It was worse after he died, of course, because I was always on official business.  I had to open the estate. I had to handle the estate. I had to close the estate.  Before I could do any of that, I had to try to find a sister I have never met.  I was always going home for a couple of days; just long enough to “take care” of something.

I hated it.  I hated it not because I was bratty and didn’t want do the grown up things, but because it was such an emotional drain.  My father and I were very close and all this “after he died business” was not what I wanted to be doing.  If you have had to do this before you, you know what I mean.

The last trip I decided I had had enough.  I was sick to my stomach thinking about going the house.  Everything had been handled, except his house.  First, we had wanted to fix it up, then we decided we were selling it.  (My Father had given the house (and everything in it) to my husband and I a couple years before his death, so we didn’t have to sorry about probate.)  I didn’t have the nerve to actually put it on the market, so it sat.  Then, people began breaking in and breaking things.

All decisions regarding the house were very hard for me for many reasons.  It wasn’t just his house.  It was where he had lived for 30 years.  My sister and I grew up there, and it was where our mother had raised us until she died.  WE had many family and friend memories there.  The entire house was filled with family belongings, but what do you do with all of them when everyone already has all their own stuff!??!

I was done, and I was selling.  That was it!  We spent the day in West Virginia, and we headed home.

The next morning my phone rang.  It was a West Virginia number, but I did not know who it was.  I answered the call, and, to my surprise, there was a lady on the other end who wanted to buy my Dad’s house.

Coincidence?

At the exact time I decided to sell the house, I got this random call.  Did it get my attention??  YES!

We went back for about price for a  little while.  We had hoped to get more for it, and had been told we could, previously.   Now, when I did some asking around, I was finding that the final price she had given me was MORE than fair and I should “take it and run”.

So, I did.

After talking to everyone I felt I needed to, we all agreed, and I made the deal.  Twelve days later I was in closing on the sale of my Dad’s house; our childhood home.

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It was a hard visit, but it was one that had to be made.  With my husband leaving soon, and me having the boys to take care of, alone, The worry associated with the house just wasn’t worth it anymore.

While I am sad that it is gone, the heavy burden has been lifted.  I am very appreciative of this.  Selling the house gives my heart and mind extra room to focus on what is important.

Colossians 3:2 ~Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things

***McCrazy Daily Lesson:  I have said it before, but it is, again, relevant; life is SO much less stressful when we let go of the wheel, and ask God to take it.  We cannot mess up if He is the “Captain” of our life.  Some decisions are still hard, and some decisions may not be what WE want to do, but we can take heart in knowing that it is what HE wants.  We are here to serve Him and do His will.  When things get in the way of that we must “weed out” the distractions.  If we aren’t sure how, all we have to do is LISTEN!  He will help!***

The day before I signed the papers to sell the house, I went to visit my Dad’s grave.  While visiting, I opened his Bible. It open to 1 Corinithians 15:55,56 (This drew my attention because he had it underlined.) O death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory? The sting of death is sin; and the strength of sin is the law.  ( Verse 57: But thanks be to God, which giveth us victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.)

He WILL talk to us; all we have to do is listen.

Photo: Family time!  :-)

Related: By The Eternal

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Day 29: A Piece of My Writing

Trials and Perseverance: Giving God the Credit

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…  

I don’t remember at what exact point I asked, but the BIG question came out: Why did mom die and our aunt had not?

THIS is the statement that would set me up for the rest of my life:

*****My father said, “Your aunt still has a little baby that needs her.  You and your sister are big enough to go on without your mom.  Her (my mom) work on Earth is done, and now she will go to work for God in the Kingdom of Heaven.

I remember thinking, “ok then”.

I had said, in the beginning, that I was made to go to church when no one else went, and that my Dad spoke about God, and His role in our lives, regularly.  Well, apparently some of it sank in.  God is everything, and we can do NOTHING without Him.  He makes the rules; not us.  It’s His plan; it’s not our plan.  These things were drilled into my head from as young as I can remember.  I’m not sure if I was told or if I concluded myself, but I also have always believed that it’s not my place to question God.  What would be the point?  God’s plan is not for us to know.  We must follow Him with blind faith.

***McCrazy Daily Lesson: I need to get back to work!!***

 

Whew!  That was scary!  :-/

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Trials and Perseverance

I am absolutely CERTAIN something nutso will happen soon!  Until then, here’s another request…

“…[I’ve] lost so many important people in [my] life, maybe write how [I’ve] dealt.”

I thought this would be a difficult topic to write about, but when I started thinking about it, I realized that it wasn’t that difficult at all!

First, I’ll explain the “trials”.  Between the ages of 10 and 17 my mother, both grandmothers, my grandfather, and two uncles died.  It took me a little while to realize that this wasn’t a normal occurrence in a young person’s life.  Heck, I know people, who are my age now, that STILL haven’t lost that many people.  Add in losing my father and aunt at age 28 and you’re up to date…

This leaves me with three family members left in my life that I grew up talking to and knowing.  A sister, an aunt, and a cousin.

How I was able to deal is the question.  

It all goes back to ONE statement.  Lucky for me, it was said after my mother died when I was 10, (which was the first of the string of family loss).  This set me up for all the OTHER deaths as well.  

We’ll get back to that in a minute.  😉

I was brought up in church learning about God.  God is everything, and we can do NOTHING without Him.  He makes the rules; not us.  His plan; not ours.  These things were drilled into my head from as young as I can remember.  I’m not sure if I was told or if I concluded myself, but I also have always believed that it’s not my place to question God.

Knowing this was my upbringing and way of thinking we can get back to the “how” question.

My mother died in a car accident in the early morning hours of Thanksgiving 1993.  My sister was home with me, and my father was out on a hunting trip.  We woke up that morning and mom hadn’t come home.  Where was she??  

Then, the phone rang.

It’s all kind of a whirlwind in my head after that.  A family friend came and picked us up to take us to our grandmothers.  Someone else went to the mountain to get my father. I remember everyone was upset and I just sat on my grandmothers couch waiting for my daddy. (I was always “Daddy’s little girl”.)  

When he got there I ran outside, and he hugged me.  He had been crying.

I don’t remember at what exact point I asked, but the BIG question came out:  “Why did mom die and our aunt (who had been in the car with her) had not?”

THIS is the statement I said set me up for the rest of my life: 
*****My father said, “Your aunt still has a little baby that needs her.  You and your sister are big enough to go on without your mom.  Her (my mom) work on Earth is done, and now she will go to work for God in the Kingdom of Heaven.”

Remember my church upbringing? First, I don’t argue with God.  Second, His plan; not ours. Third, Who can argue with that??!?

It took me many years to realize that THIS was why I was able to make it through my teenage years “somewhat normal”.  (lol)  Once I realized it, I did go back and thank my father for those AWESOME words.  He was very thankful I did. (Aren’t we all afraid we are messing our kids up, and NEED those words of confirmation??)

So, I guess the answer to the question is GOD!!!  😉  Bet you didn’t see that coming.  God worked through my daddy, and He got ME through.  I could not be more appreciative.  

***McCrazy Daily Lesson: Death is only hard for the living. It does not hurt God’s feelings to bring His children home, and the people who go to be with God are WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY better off! We are never sad for the person who dies; we are sad for ourselves, because we know we will miss them. We need to take comfort that God knows what He’s doing and that we don’t need to know. 🙂 How much simpler is life if we just let go and live!!! Trust.***

mom and dadme and kriss